Re-iNtRODUCtiON .

first name: i'm in love with you .
last name is forever .
the one thing i know,
is that we need to be together .
baby's patiently waiting for me to get my shit straight .
life is short, so it's time to get our shit straight .
call me richie rich,
'cause i'm rollin' in love .
fuck them other bitches,
you're the one i'm thinknig of .
my butterfly, my baby, my greeneyedmonster .
FUCK competition, other girls, don't bother .
hey you, wanna let you know you make my heart melt .
being in love is a feeling i've never, ever felt .
though you feel i'm a zombie,
and have no feelings .
you're love's got me high,
baby, there is no cieling .
staring in your eyes has got me feelin',
some type of way; there is no tellin' .
thinking about your lips gets me in a daze .
daydreaming about your body,
got me fiendin for days .
i know i don't deserve you .
you're too good for me .
but lemme get a taste of. your frost. ing .
so i can make you feel how baby's supposed to be .
i want to wake up next to you,
so i can kiss you in the morning .
and come home to you,
so i can serve you when need be .
i want to be your everything,
especially the reason your smiling .
living without you is a reason for dying .
we are one, and i've come to learn that .
being in love has no exit out the back .
first name: i'm in love with you .
last name is forever .
the one thing i know,
is that we will be together .

iloveyou .

exhale slowly; squeeze the trigger .

alone i stand, outlooking the good things in life .

physically and mentally .

gorgeous night skies; beautiful sunsets; dank marijuana; dope music .

and as for mentally: her . :/

the only thing i want in life, doesn't want me anymore .

and i'm still so in love with her .

smh .

...deuces.

haa .

i've come to realize,
85% of the time ...
my left eye is squinted .
ehh, fuck it . haha .

BC1179 .

:/ i despise this day without you .

the truth ;

just ... listen .
this song is the truth dude .

stuff .

babe, you know it gets no better than this .


she makes me laugh .

you'll appreciate this, <3 .

ehem, i'm quite fond of this .

last night's activity, pretty cool .

oh yeah, i've seen it twice now .
most ridiculous movie i've seen .
i suggest, to go peep it . nuuutss .

i want for xmas <3 . along with _______ .


haaa, the crack fox .
"that's the nighttime film for me in the nighttimes, for the fuzzy tingle times .
:'( .


_hmm . too much dude .
i just want you back <3 .
love is happiness, no doubt . :|

bye_ .

want you, need you .

I WANT MY 'MELA BACK !!!
asdlfjasdfus9usflj .
just, come back to me please .

ugh .

going buzurk .
honestly, everything is irrelevant .
i am truely in love, but i am too late ?
i believe in destiny, and we're destined .
no justifications of my actions, and i hold no more excuses .
you're all i need . i owe you my life, mel .
you're my world . i'm sorry . :|

oh yeah, halloween photos .

^ name: jose .












we were old men, as you can see .

nothing like this .

^^ this is how i feel about you & i .

there's a lot i need to personally, express to you verbally .
every attempt i make, it's just a lot of fucking murmuring .
there's a lot built up inside me, so bby come and try me .
i know how to love you, please don't be so blinded ...
by how i've treated you in the past times .
little did i know those were the bad times .
i wish i could take it all back like a bad rhyme .
but i can't, that's why i'm looking at the future .
how can i win you back ?, i'm such a fuckin' loser .
i never realized how much i really need you .
this would happen after i fuckin' lose you .
we can't fall out of love, nahh fuck that .
our love is a million lightyears, ain't no comin' back .
i swear this shit'll gimme a fuckin' heart attack .
you're the light of my life, i see you shinin' through .
i'm never budging, my heart is always with you .
this shit is so sad, got me feelin' hella blue .
i swear all i want to do is love you .
i really can't believe i watched our love fall .
now i'd do anything, bby . i swear i'd crawl .
i could hate myself for what i haven't done .
when knowing i had come across the you, the one .
you, you're the only one for me .
now it's only me, and i hate being lonely .
if i'd only acted instead spitting bullshit .
we'd be going on our ten months, fucking dipshit .
i swear i'm truely fucking retarded .
i really don't know what goes on in this head above .
but right now ... it sucks really being in love . :/

blah . i don't know what to do .

mindblown .

at everything right now .
never had this much of an abundance in my thought process .
the thing about it is, it's all of one subject, her .
love is everything, and that's all i have to say .
it's about to make me do something crazy .

lls, marijuana is the only thing that makes me happy right now .

new .

ftw .

keeps me somewhat sane .



chukka lo's .


anyway, it's halloween weekend .
new ink tomorrow ? if so, update .
i've got a lot running through my brain cells .
mellow without my 'mela . :|
i hate this damn phone, it's 1:07 am .
i have work at 8:30, lls . I GET PAID TOMORROW ! :D .

___fuck you, and have a lovely weekend .

_update .

_lately, ftw .

aside from that, working life sucks .
it's just a fucking cycle . oh well, $$$ .
my life needs to get going, soon .
i've got a lot to accomplish, missions starts ... now ?


_x_.

my oakland grl;

ch-check, ch-check, one's...two's...three's.
c-mela, this is for you girl <3.

"i'm a VA girl with a little bit of flava
this beat is D minor, and your oh so major
you do your own thing so you owe no favors
you won't do it now and you won't do it later
hater's wanna see my girl get lost in the sauce
but they crazy so bitches get lost
nah, i'm just crazy and i know i don't make no sense
my girl's the best and she makes the happiest
hate it or not my girl is the baddest bitch
and she can't get no greater, hence she's damn near per-fect
i keep it real, and my baby do the same
high class chick, and she give some crazy brain
style so mean, swag is vicious
smile O.D., eyes delicious
yeah i got this girl and i'm hella lucky
my heart is all hers and i'm lovin' my bay'.

ain't nothin' like an oakland girl."

hahaha! i told you, i'd do this...took me a while.
but i did, i love you so much, babygirl.
you're my oakland girl. <3.

stagnant;

i feel as if i haven't moved the passed day.
i've either been laying/sitting in the same spot.
staring at the wall; with one major thing on my mind.
so much is going through my fucking head; i've produced a terrible headache.
i've felt slightly sick? i don't know.
and i've been breathing weird? i also don't know.
i think all these thoughts and mixed emotions is taking a toll.
but that's minor to the major.

a big bad has happened.
as much as i didn't and don't want it to.
i just feel so stuck.
not knowing what to say and/or do.
not that it's a trying to say or do just to say "oh, i might as well".
it's the right say/do.
it's hard to express myself, being such an introvertedly expressive person.
words aren't enough for me; nor can i realy do it through words.
it sucks, but...that's just how i am. yay me.
this trait of mine is causing major issues in my life.
things that shouldn't be an issue in the first place.

i feel as if i've royally screwed something beautiful up because of it.
and as well as my lifestyle at the moment.
shit i can't necessarily help, as muchas i want to, hence it being a problem.
there's but so much i can fix here; working on the way i express myself needs to be one of them.

this problem needs to be fixed asap; i can't lose this royally beautiful thing in my life.
it's not an option; nor can i live without her.
it hasn't been that long, so time isn't the factor.
it's just the emotions recieved from this beautiful thing.
the whole-ness i recieve from this beautiful thing.
the "i can't live without you" i recieve from this beautiful thing.

i've never been through anything like this before.
and i hate not knowing what to do about things.
it drives me crazy; but with me....others may not know what i go through.
or how i may feel about something, et cetera, because of my expressive ways.
sometimes it's good; times like this...it's not.

i need...fuck that; living is only an option with this beautiful thing in my life.
i do not want to give it up and i refuse to.
so, me not acting on what to say or do right at this moment;
first off...is because i'm scared.
the thought of this loss scares the shit out of me.
memories sadden me.
future thought with this beautiful thing potentially is going to make me the happiest person.

hence, the situation of myself and this beautiful thing.
it seems as if it's going to take forever to get there.
and i will fucking wait as long as i fucking have to to get that.
i don't want another "beautiful thing" or experience anything else.
reason: there isn't.
there's no other beautiful thing that makes me as happy as this one does.
no other beautiful thing that is fucking hands down perfect for me.

my mind is going crazy.
how to express it properly; my body doesn't know.
blair robinson is more than confused.
different areas of my body send different signals.
my mind is what's going right now.
my body otherwise, leaves me stagnant - not knowing what to do.
i'm just fucking scared.

i need/want all this other shit i have to do with my life to..
you know, dissappear so i can have this beautiful thing all i want to.
to have and to hold until the fucking wheels fall off.
i need it. so terribly bad.

it will always be mine, for forever and for always.
me fucking up, doesn't mean me is going to give up.
it's not an option; shits hectic.
i've got too much going on, and my beautiful thing isn't getting the proper attention it needs.
and i know that and it sucks, but...it's got to be gotten through to be happy...
shit doesn't always work out as planned.
this needs to be tuff'd out.

i can't sleep; barely eat.
my body physically doesn't feel right.
and my heart feels empty.
the only thing progessing right now is my artistic expression.
i have yet to put my sharpies away.
that's the only way i can do so right now.

until - i can make bigger moves really soon to try to get my beautiful thing back.
i've fallen in love with it, and i forever will be.
i've never had to really work hard for anything;
not saying i'm spoilled or anything, but there's never been anything for me to work hard for.
but starting now, it's hitting effect.
better now than later; it's not too late and i know that.
i believe in love, because i've come to know how it feels physically and mentally.
and in my heart, one thing i do know is my heart.
i know how i feel, and i unconditionall am so in love with this beautiful thing.

i don't know what i'm saying.
it's just flowing out, hopefully being the non-edited expressions that i portray all the time.
straight from the heart, it is what it is.
right here, i put it out there that i have completely fallen in love with you, carmela michelle hernandez.
and nothing is going to change that. whether we're together or not.
this is really hard; being apart, our different lifestyles, et cetera.
but our love is so much more than that.
you mean the world to me, and all i want for you to be is happy, nothing less than that.
if it takes us not being together and you to be happy, fine.

but, i know deep, deep, deep down...i can be that happy for you.
distance kills yo; it's a fucking murderer.
but, we can work this out.

you've been nothing less than perfect to me, you're the best.
best i've ever had; best i'll ever have; you're all i want.
the only one for me - real talk.

i love you, i love you, i love you, and i love you some more.
i love you infinately. time isn't a factor with my love for you.
i'll love you longer than time.

just, don't close your heart on me.
i'm begging you...we are good together.
fuck that, we're the best for each other.
this is all so new...i'm just asking you to bear with me, one more time....
this time being the last time, i just can't imagine my life without you.
this has been the weirdest few hours for me.
i just don't know what to do.
all my thoughts that consist of you; portray sadness or the thought of losing you.
i can't have that.

just, let me be your happy.
i'm so in love with you, and nothing will change that. <3.



bloop. :(

soon shtuff;

eh; i am graduating june 9th. :D!

thennnnnnn, there's beach week with TQ.

and before that, i am getting my septum pierced.

--it's happening; do no try to talk me out of it; i scurred.

& THENNN!! fcking california; i still need to purchase my plane ticket.

but, i am heading to the west coast to see my bby and experience some things.

so, i'm stoked; then the rest is whatever.

i'm 'cited.

uh; hey...carmela, i love you babygirl :D.

srsly;

i love my baby; i love you.

Been Away For A Minute;

(VSWphotoshop shit; steppin' that game up.;
my sexy girl reppin' that VSdubb!; BOOOOSHHHishome.)

Soooo, i've been away for a while.; Recent shit to update you hoes.; Eh, other than that.; Just apps to schools/jobs.; Cupcakey with my baby; btw, I love you soooo much :D.; Grace is home and it makes me hellla happy.; I can't wait to graduate and summerness.; I need more tattoos & my lip pierced.

(Miss Mela Mackin' is the sex; my sex; i love you)

(Two panels of an art project: update when it's done)

I'll write about something worth while another day. chuuuuch.

INK!

(i'll get a better picture later)

Productivity;

F E E L I N G P R O D U C T I V E, A R E W E ? Y E A H.
So, here's my epiphany of things I need to do with myself:
+Finish applying to the Art Institute of Washington (Arlington)
+Draw, draw, draw//sketch, sketch, sketch like crazy.
__I'm going to do this Tattoo Artist thing, please believe.
+Ticket for Cali in May; prices and shit; to see my bby of course <3.
+See what ink I want to get for my birthday (what, where, et cetera).
__Birthday is March 11th. :D.
+Make Fuzzy Tingle Time playlist, haha.
+GET MORE STOKED FOR SEEING bby in 3 days!!!

& i'm sure there's more, but that's all for now...chuuuuch.

Lil' Vanity;

Haha, my little cuzzos reppin'. chuuuuuch.

NIKE SB Trainer; Bamboo & Black;

I just want to express that...
I have faithfully loved these NIKE SB's for 2 years now; since they came out.
& i've searched the universe for them & i can't find them in my size.
I just need to express that it truely upsets me.
Regardless of it's absence in my life, I still love you.

BUY ME THESE OR I'LL KILL YOU.

PSDTUTS;

VSW Chroooommme!
Honestly, shit's addicting. I've been doing a lot of these new things in
Photoshop, and it's OD addicting.
Just thought i'd share of the beginnings of greatness;
oh, i'll master it all. chuuuuch.

VSWoooooooooooooD!

!!!

Friday the 13th;
Review: Typical, New Age Slasher Flick; I enjoyed it.
(Down side of the night: Tee wants to scare the shit out of me.
& long story short, i ended up screaming like a little girl for a millisecond.)





DRTY NRTH 2/3 INVERSE;

(Inversed the DRTY NRTH & little VA's from the original)

(DRTY NRTH Golden: B-STER 3hr. creation)
bbygrl;

11709Perfection & I love my girlfriend. I just, thought i'd share that with the world.

DRTY NRTH RVA;

Design & Finished Product: B-STER; Vanity Street Wear.

D R T Y N R T H R V A;

Sushi;

S U S H I;
Well, iloveyou. I ate some of you today, scratch that, i demolished you today, and it was perfect. Blogging this reunion of love we share together, just felt necessary. eel roll, you are THE shit.

party | galaxy | photo creepin'

RANDOM hangouts: check it.
late night partying. g$, jheit, ju, & myself. dance. prttylghts.
g$ & myself wiff' britno and her boy. galaxy diner. random ass photos.
g$ & i photo adventure. good fun.


jheit & g$.

some prtty lghts.

juuuuu.

The Official Duke Kahanamoku Surfers.

cuzzo cheelin'.

UFO.

cute coup.

my bestfriend is hella cute. forreally.

creeper.

glor-goyle.

f that u. b-ster whattup.

oh. no big deal. chillin' on dumpsters.

<3.

splinters: price you pay for being a rebel.